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Jul. 10th, 2010

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Good for a laugh

I watched this and I honestly can't stop laughing

Lily Allen - Smile

Jul. 8th, 2010

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Karma

I’m done stressing over who is telling the truth or not, let the universe deal to them what they deserve.

Jul. 5th, 2010

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Special thanks

I am so grateful for all the people in my life who have been there for me and who have shown me so much love and kindness. As the anger goes away I can’t help but feel as if it was somehow my fault, or if there was not something I could have done differently to make things work, just generally feeling as if in some way I was not good enough. A lot of that also comes from the way my boyfriend made me feel, since  he was trying to pursue relationships behind my back.

However I have so many people that have come forward and just have been so supportive and kind and it just make me feel so loved… I guess it is something I realize now I haven’t felt in awhile.

I was ‘IN’ a relationship and I loved my boyfriend dearly, but I never really felt that feeling of love and support one should feel when you are together with someone. I had not really known it at the time but the little things he would say to me effected my self esteem. I had come to feel that I was not worth anything and therefore had to love what I had.

The process will be slow, but I have to keep telling myself that I am worth more and that I deserve someone  that will truly love me. Also remind myself that someone can love me and can find me attractive.

Really thanks to everyone that helped me realize this, it means more to me than you could possibly know.

 

Well enough with the crying and gushing, I think I shall cheer up by playing with the kitties <3

Jun. 15th, 2010

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New Laptop

Well I can’t say that it wasn’t needed, and I’m SO glad I finally got a new one =D. It is just in time for me to go to Origins convention. I know that it will be a lot better going to the art classes with a laptop that actually has battery life.

Jun. 2nd, 2010

sad

If you loved me...

Sitting in bed, trying to sleep... not liking the feeling of being all alone *cries* 
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May. 16th, 2010

beautiful

Weekly update

Well I spent yesterday with my mom for her birthday. I really hoped she enjoyed her presents and the movie. We rented Avatar and I have to say it was a pretty good movie. Last week we went out and did some flower shopping. My porch is now all lovely with pink and white flowers! I'm still of the idea that  I should get 2 hanging baskets, if only I could find the right plants to put in them. I'm thinking something of the vine variety, but it HAS to have flowers... maybe will do some more searching this weekend *shrugs* I would love something that would attract humming birds or butterflies *smiles* ya' that would be nice.
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May. 12th, 2010

waterdance

More rain!


Maybe I’m just overreacting but I am slightly worried about some of the areas of TN w/ the next 4 days of weather saying rain / thunderstorms. I mean there are places that haven’t even dried out yet! Probably won’t be as bad as before but it can’t be a good thing. >.>


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May. 7th, 2010

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Back to normal

So weird! Two days and the whole state seems to go underwater >.>. No, my apartment didn't get flooded but I know several people who did loose their homes. One foot more and the water would have gone over the levy that sits behind the building in which I work. We were evacuated and just now were able to return after three days, but when I look at the water line and just how close we came it is a little scary. I can't even imagine what it is like for the people who lost cars, homes, ect... So right now I'm feeling pretty lucky.
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Apr. 10th, 2010

Dresdenfilestitle

Dresden series


Just Finished the new Dresden book, 'Changes'. I can say that I'm in shock, I still can't believe the ending o.O


Apr. 6th, 2010

dreams

Dream Journal

Dream Journal 04/05/2010

Journal Entry
I had a dream that started out with me reading my  'Dark-Hunter series' It seems I'm in a class but it is being lead by my current Night supervisor, Joe. He apparently is reading the same book as I am. He finsihes before I do so on the way out for a 'Lunch Break' I give him the next book in the series since I always carry around so cause I read so fast.
I walk out of the room for my lunch break and I'm in some kind of mall. The shops seem to be closed but that does not concern me cause I'm making my way to the food court anyway. When I open the doors to the food court there is a large orchestra in chairs playing the Aviril Lavigne song 'I'm with you'. So I realize that the food shops are closed too as I walk around the outside of the food court. As I'm walking I'm singing the lyrics to the song.

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I'm tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you

I finally sit next to a group of people who seem to be in charge, I question them as to if this is somekind of private event and what is going on. They give the the name of their group and say that they are doing practice before a tour. They rented the mall out for their practice. I make a joke about asking if they need a vocalist They say not unless you can also participate wiith an instrument as well. and I replyI  'I can play flute, but I prefer not to' and make my way back out into the mall hallway.

so I'm left going back to class / work in my dream and I have nothing to eat.
this is when I wake up...

*tummy grumbles* guess I am going to get some breakfast
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