I’m done stressing over who is telling the truth or not, let the universe deal to them what they deserve.
I am so grateful for all the people in my life who have been there for me and who have shown me so much love and kindness. As the anger goes away I can’t help but feel as if it was somehow my fault, or if there was not something I could have done differently to make things work, just generally feeling as if in some way I was not good enough. A lot of that also comes from the way my boyfriend made me feel, since he was trying to pursue relationships behind my back.
However I have so many people that have come forward and just have been so supportive and kind and it just make me feel so loved… I guess it is something I realize now I haven’t felt in awhile.
I was ‘IN’ a relationship and I loved my boyfriend dearly, but I never really felt that feeling of love and support one should feel when you are together with someone. I had not really known it at the time but the little things he would say to me effected my self esteem. I had come to feel that I was not worth anything and therefore had to love what I had.
The process will be slow, but I have to keep telling myself that I am worth more and that I deserve someone that will truly love me. Also remind myself that someone can love me and can find me attractive.
Really thanks to everyone that helped me realize this, it means more to me than you could possibly know.
Well enough with the crying and gushing, I think I shall cheer up by playing with the kitties <3
Well I can’t say that it wasn’t needed, and I’m SO glad I finally got a new one =D. It is just in time for me to go to Origins convention. I know that it will be a lot better going to the art classes with a laptop that actually has battery life.
Maybe I’m just overreacting but I am slightly worried about some of the areas of TN w/ the next 4 days of weather saying rain / thunderstorms. I mean there are places that haven’t even dried out yet! Probably won’t be as bad as before but it can’t be a good thing. >.>
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I'm tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I finally sit next to a group of people who seem to be in charge, I question them as to if this is somekind of private event and what is going on. They give the the name of their group and say that they are doing practice before a tour. They rented the mall out for their practice. I make a joke about asking if they need a vocalist They say not unless you can also participate wiith an instrument as well. and I replyI 'I can play flute, but I prefer not to' and make my way back out into the mall hallway.